Choose Compassion by James Kirby

Author:James Kirby
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: University of Queensland Press
Published: 2022-09-03T00:00:00+00:00

8

The anatomy of suffering

Compassion only exists because of suffering, so to fully appreciate what compassion is we must understand what suffering is. I suspect everyone reading this book has at least one powerful story of a time they suffered. But what did that suffering entail? Was it physical or emotional? Was it acute or chronic? Was it social or private? Was it your direct experience or that of someone you cared for? How do we determine what suffering is? Many parents try to minimise the amount of suffering their children experience – just as Buddha’s father did.

Buddha’s father tried to keep his son, the Indian Prince Siddhartha, in a golden bubble inside the palace walls. He was trying to protect his son from all the suffering of life because of how much he loved him. A misguided way of showing his love, perhaps, but nevertheless understandable. Siddhartha remained in that golden palace for 29 years, eventually escaping with the help of one of his assistants. The story goes that outside, Siddhartha was shocked with what he saw, as he encountered disease, ageing and death for the first time. This would have sent most of us back to the palace, but Siddhartha was so shocked by the suffering, aware it was his destiny too, that he became preoccupied with finding a solution for the human condition.1 Siddhartha never returned to the palace, leaving behind his wife, son and father, as he was determined to fully understand suffering. His father’s strategy of keeping his son protected from the realities of the world had backfired spectacularly.

On his quest, Siddhartha encountered many philosophies, insights and contemplative practices to address suffering, eventually arriving at the famous Bodhi Tree. For many days, he sat quietly observing the rising and falling of his own mental phenomena. From this experience he became aware that our minds can be filled with conflicting and difficult motives and passions – ones of not-wanting (aversions) and of wanting (grasping after what is impermanent). Through observing his mind, he recognised how easily we can be absorbed and taken by whatever desires and passions happen to be stimulated within us.2

Siddhartha’s solution to this was twofold. First, train the mind to become aware of thoughts as they arise, so that we can become mindful rather than mindless in our emotions and actions. Second, study all the passions and desires in us and focus on those that can offset grasping, greed and aversion, to balance the mind and bring true calmness in working towards compassion – the desire to see all beings free of suffering. In this way the mind can be given a focus. Mindfulness brings stability to the mind and compassion transforms it, freeing us from egoistic pursuits.3

This is a very condensed version of a remarkable life that gave rise to Buddhism, which has had a significant impact on how we understand and study compassion. But of course, compassion and suffering are not owned by Buddhism. All the major religions have compassion as a core pillar in their teachings.

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